All I want for Christmas...

All I want for Christmas…

…is a website that works.

Why Santa, does my website not get many visitors? Why don’t they call me? Is my scrolling banner with my special offers on it, whizzing across the middle of the page not enough? Should I make my logo flash faster? Maybe the theme tune for my website isn’t playing loudly enough.

I followed my friend’s brother’s aunt’s hairdresser’s advice, as she once built a website for a dog – and I’ve made sure that every page has a pop-up on it, asking for the visitor’s name and e-mail address – but no-one is filling it in. What am I doing wrong?

I’ve also followed the advice of the search engine marketing book I bought from eBay – and I’ve put my key words in hidden text a hundred times at the bottom of my pages. It’s not working yet – but maybe I just need to be more patient? I thought because I wrote “Gardening Services Essex” in tiny small text 1,000 times on the home-page - that surely should have been enough to let Google know it should put me 1st in the search pages.

Santa, I know that I don’t get long to grab people’s attention when they first visit - but I also have so much to tell them – so I’ve put all my services, my history, and my CV on the website home page. That way, they don’t have to click around much, as it’s all there. I even reduced the text size to fit it all in, but Santa, people still aren’t calling me.

Santa, all I want for Christmas is a website that works. I want people to find it, and find out what I do. Better still, I want them to call me, or send me an e-mail. Do you know anyone who can help? Preferably Santa, I’d like it for free, and I really need it sorted out by the end of the week.

Love and Seasons wishes, J. Bloggs